What type of person do you imagine when you think of the word “exotic”?

Salma Hayek? Priyanka Chopra? Dev Patel? Rihanna? Yes?

How about Jessica Chastain, Chris Pratt, or January Jones? No?

Why not? What is it about someone like Chrissy Teigen that invokes the use of this label, but not someone like Drew Barrymore?

By definition, “exotic” means foreign or different. A plant or a food can be exotic. But a person?…

It’s complicated.

I am a White-passing Latina. Well… kind of. I have been told that I don’t “look Mexican” (whatever that means). I’ve been asked if I am Italian, Persian, or Portuguese. Oh, and I have also been told I only look like I am “half Mexican”. People will often say, to my face, things like:

“What are you?”

“I would have NEVER guessed you were Mexican!”

“You’re really not mixed?”

“You have an exotic look to you.”

All of this has been said with a huge grin on their face. It’s as though these things were a compliment. In their defense, they’ve probably learned to believe that they are complimenting me.

Because of European colonization, theirs has been the standard of beauty since, like… forever. If you do not possess European features, you are not thought of as conventionally “attractive.” However, there is an exception: Exotic Beauty. When a person is considered “good-looking” DESPITE lacking European features, they are often labeled as “exotic”— an other. In a way, it’s condescending. You are essentially telling a person: “You’re nice to look at, but you don’t have real beauty”. Not only is this problematic, belittling, and insulting, but it can also be dangerous.

When we reduce a person to their “ethnic” stereotype (the “spicy Latina,” the “submissive Asian,” the “hyper-sexualized Black woman”), by means of “othering,” we are unintentionally (although at many times, also intentionally) objectifying them. It becomes easier to justify other degrading language and actions toward these individuals when they are basically seen as little more than a caricature. If I, as a Latina, am passionate and outspoken, I am seen as “spicy,” playing into the label I have been given. Not only have my views and feelings been disregarded for this reason, but I have also been on the receiving end of some serious verbal abuse and humiliation.

The vocabulary we use to describe a person or group of people is important. Because words matter. They can be used to marginalize and make us feel ashamed and embarrassed to inhabit the beautiful bodies we were born into (as was the case with elementary school era Ilse, but that’s for another post). They can be used as forms of micro-aggression, thereby facilitating the justification of maligning and reducing people as “inferior” to others.

However, the language we use can also lift us up. It can allow our self-confidence to flourish and thrive. More importantly, when we as individuals are cognizant of the ways in which we describe others, it sends a message—  We are valued. We are beautiful. We are special, regardless of our differences.

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