Searching Through Words
/Do you ever just read or hear something and immediately the connection you have with it is soul-affirming? That is how I felt reading this quote by Emily McDowell:
“‘Finding yourself’ is not really how it works. You aren’t a ten-dollar bill in last winter’s coat pocket. You are also not lost. Your true self is right there, buried under cultural conditioning, other people’s opinions and inaccurate conclusions you drew as a kid that became your beliefs about who you are. ‘Finding yourself’ is actually returning to yourself. An unlearning, an excavation, a remembering who you were before the world got its hands on you.”
It was like a perfectly articulated thought that fits so well with what I believe, but never occurred to me in this way. I love that feeling and these days I don’t feel like I have it enough.
When I was an angsty teenager, I was drawn to quotes like this. I remember spending hours on the computer just searching through words that I could connect with, collecting all the ones that made me feel validated and whole. It was how I coped with low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety. I never quite had the knack of developing or sharing these thoughts myself, so I relied on others to say it for me.
As an adult, this “obsession” faded some— because who has time to scour the internet when there is work, and life? But my connection to words in this way has always been constant, and every so often, I stumble upon something like this that reminds me of that part of myself. What I think is so impactful about this quote, both from my personal experience and as a mental health therapist, is that life so easily throws us off track from who we really are. It’s not just about our bodies and how we see our beauty, although that is certainly a perfect example.
If you’ve ever really observed a young child grow, you can see how from day one they have an identity all their own. For the most part, they are confident and unapologetic about it because they don’t know any differently. It’s why kids are so free-spirited and joyful— life has not yet shaken their beliefs about who they are. This is so much a part of why I strive to work with people from a place of strength.
via Bricks 4 Kidz
We so often have all of what we need to be ourselves and live our lives the way that’s best for us! We just lose our confidence and connection with those pieces of ourselves because the world is full of varying opinions about who we “should" or “shouldn’t” be. The hard part is just digging through all those thoughts and feelings that have become our beliefs about ourselves and what we deserve, just so we can be our true selves again.
Just like our body shapes and sizes, there is no shortage of diversity in who we are as people. And although it may be a naive, if not idealistic dream, I’d love and hope to see us move towards a world where we encourage people to be authentically themselves, no matter what that looks like.
What are some of your favorite inspiring quotes?
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