Inspired by Anxiety: That "Ugh" Job
/I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again because I firmly believe it: Everything. Is. Connected. If you can try to embrace that idea, then the solution to any particular source of anxiety may not come from just one area of our lives, but be pieced together by taking action in many other areas. While each post in this series is devoted to a particular dimension of health, there will inevitably be some overlap, which I’ll acknowledge as well. With that said, on to the next dimension:
Occupational Health
That “Ugh” Job
“TGIF.”
“Working for the weekend.”
“Fake it till you make it.”
“Work hard, play hard.”
For the record, these phrases drive me crazy… but I get it. There’s a reason these phrases exist. And although “work hard, play hard” might be one of my biggest pet peeve phrases, at its core, I believe that what it really means is, “when you’re not working, enjoy yourself.”
I also believe that for many of us, these phrases serve as a type of coping mechanism in some way. It’s a way to remind ourselves that if we can push through the stress of the workweek, there’s hopefully rest and relaxation in store for us over the weekend. We’re doing something we may not necessarily be enjoying so that we can enjoy ourselves later on.
via Pinterest
The unfortunate underlying statement in all of that, however, is the implication that there is no rest or relaxation during the week; Monday through Friday is for our stressful jobs, Friday night and/or Saturday is for whatever fun we can cram into a 24-36 hour window, and Sunday we try to recover. Wash, rinse, repeat.
As far as I’m concerned, that’s not exactly a good thing.
I could probably write an entire other series about my thoughts and feelings about that alone, but I’ll table that for now. What I will say, though, is that if I had to guess the reason why we use these cliche phrases to push ourselves through the work week, my guess is that many of us don’t actually enjoy our jobs, like at all. That may not always be the case; it may simply just be that we’re looking forward to the point in the week where our time can be devoted to our personal lives— and that’s probably still part of it.
But, numbers don’t lie. According to a recent Gallup poll, among American employees, 51 percent are either actively seeking a new job or looking out for openings. That’s the majority of people in the workforce. Over two-thirds (68%) feel they are overqualified for the job they have now. One-third (33%) are engaged when they are at work, and the likelihood that those who are actively disengaged are seeking new jobs is nearly double[1].
That says something, doesn’t it?
I feel it’s pretty fair to say that most of us have had at least one job that we’ve absolutely hated. I know hate is a strong word, and I’d rather not use it. Truthfully, though, I think it fits here because many of us have probably genuinely felt that strongly about how much we disliked a particular job (or jobs).
via someecards
I don’t know about you, but for me, there is a pretty strong connection between anxiety and unhappiness, and vice versa; the more unhappy I am at work, the more anxiety I experience. That overwhelming feeling that I’m going to wind up stuck in a particular job. The desperation of feeling like I need to find something else. The stress of thinking about starting yet another job search before the stress of the actual job search itself. It all sucks.
I understand that for many of us, we have financial obligations that require us to go to a job we despise, simply to make ends meet. And yes, it’s important to consider your financial health when it comes to work. Still, from a strictly work-related anxiety perspective, here are 3 ways we can address our occupational health:
Connect with Your Coworkers
I’ve had a lot of jobs that were less than ideal for me, either because they weren’t a good fit for my skill set or personality, or that I felt I had no choice to be there to make ends meet for the time being. Simply put, some jobs are better for us than others. One thing that has made each and every one of those jobs at least a little bit better was having friendships with my coworkers. When you work at that “ugh” job, in my experience, there is often a sense of camaraderie that comes with sharing a less-than-ideal work environment with a group of your peers.
via Hello Giggles
What I mean is that even if you may have very little in common with those coworkers, there’s something about sharing the same frustrations that only a coworker could relate to that bonds people together. On the flip side, if I were to rank my 5 least favorite jobs, the ones at the top of the list— the absolutely unbearable ones— are also the ones where I didn’t connect with my coworkers, and probably not by coincidence. Whether it was not eating lunch with them, or not hanging out outside of work, these jobs were the ones that caused me the most anxiety, largely because I felt isolated.
In spite of my aforementioned aversion to cliche quotes, the phrase “misery loves company” is a cliche for a reason, and it really is amazing how these social dynamics work sometimes. I’ve made many friends during my time working in difficult situations, some of whom I am still friends with to this day, and we still reminisce about those eye-rolling moments we shared at work many years ago. Though the jobs were far from enjoyable, sharing that experience with your coworkers, at the very least, made those days there a little more bearable.
(Re)Define What You Want
As children we were asked, what do you want to be when you grow up? First of all, what we “want to be”/what we become should not strictly refer to our future job title. Yet, for some reason, the expectation is that we’ll answer the question with some type of career choice. You know, as though a 5-year-old fully understands the full scope of the jobs that exist in the world and go so far as to pick the one they want. For what it’s worth, I’m sure many adults— myself included— are still only aware of a fraction of possibilities when it comes to job titles and career paths.
Of course, there are those who have said they wanted to be a doctor, a teacher, or a firefighter from the time they were 5 and went on to become a doctor, a teacher, or a firefighter just as they said they would. But for the vast majority of us, what we tell people when we’re 5 typically doesn’t stick. Often, what we tell people even when we’re 15, 20, or 25 doesn’t always stick, either.
via Psychology Today
When I was 5, I thought I wanted to be a baseball player. When I was 15, honestly, I wanted to be socially accepted. When I was 20, I thought I wanted to be a teacher. When I was 25 I thought I wanted to be a sports statistician. And now, here I am at age 32, I’ve attempted all of these career paths and have changed course yet again.
People change. Hopefully, for the better, but even if we feel we’re regressing a bit, we can still take a bad experience and try to learn something useful from it. With each job and career shift I felt dissatisfied with, I learned about some things that I want that I hadn’t realized. I learned that I wanted some new things. And perhaps most importantly, I learned A LOT about what I don’t want.
It’s probably not uncommon to resist all of those changes. When you grow up thinking you’re heading in one direction and spend so much time and energy towards heading in that direction, it’s a fair bet that there’ll be some anxiety when all of those things change. When this happens, it’s important to really ask yourself what it is that you want to accomplish, what things you don’t want, and what you’re passionate about. If you decide that those things are truly important to you, trust it.
Find the Courage to Let Go
This can apply to so many things— unhealthy relationships, unrealistic expectations, dwelling on the past— but this works in this dimension, too. This one is particularly fresh in my mind and my heart because just last week I left my first career and began a new one. I had pursued teaching for nearly two decades, and I agonized over it for roughly half of that time.
The first time I considered leaving teaching, I was a senior in college. I was unhappy and wondered if I had made the wrong decision in declaring my major in Physical Education. Being that I was a semester away from graduating, I stuck it out.
Four and a half years later I was a substitute teacher with no full-time job prospects. More importantly, I was again unhappy. This time, I more than considered leaving teaching, I set one foot out the door and into a job in sports information. I kept subbing, and when the sports info path abruptly stopped, I found my way back into education.
Having never fully realized my initial goal of becoming a full-time teacher, I decided that I couldn’t leave until I had at least had achieved one full-time teaching job. I got a job as a Teaching Aide, started grad school, and a year and a half later I got my first full-time teaching gig. I lost that job after two years, then found another, but through all of the changes one thing stayed the same— I was unhappy.
Thankfully, in that time I had gotten my Masters degree in Health Education, and came to realize that although I still want to teach, educate, and help people, I needed to find another way. More than just being unhappy, I was unfulfilled, and I realized that my passion had nothing to do with a job title, field, or career path.
It took 14 years for my first inklings of unhappiness and wanting a change to become a definitive exit from my first career. There was an immense amount of doubt, anxiety, and fear that came with making the decision to let go, but the signs were there all along, and I couldn’t ignore them anymore.
I would say “don’t be afraid to let go,” but I realize that it’s OK to be afraid. Leaving something you’ve poured so much energy into for half of your life isn’t likely not to be intimidating, and it almost certainly isn’t going to be easy. But sometimes fear drives us to look for change, and when we finally find the courage to let go, then we can move on and pursue something that fulfills our passion.
via MGM Studios
If what I just described relates to you, too, I feel for you. I understand. I don’t believe we do ourselves any favors forcing ourselves into a career of “TGIF”s, “Working for the weekend,” and “faking it till you make it.” There are bound to be many less-than-ideal jobs along the way, but I encourage you to find people who make that job a little bit better while you’re there, make the effort to search for what you truly want, and to find the courage to pursue it, even if it means leaving your old career behind.
Can you relate? Need to vent? I’m here for you.
Share your comments at the bottom of the page.
Stay tuned for the next part of “Inspired by Anxiety” this September.
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