Go Fo(u)rth and Eat Freely

Independence. Liberty. Freedom.

These are the things Americans commonly associate with the Fourth of July, the anniversary of the day the U.S. adopted the Declaration of Independence and considered itself free from British rule. We commemorate the day with celebrations, parades, and fireworks. Many of us get together with friends and family, and if the weather is nice enough— or even if it’s not— we barbecue.

We grill hot dogs, burgers, chicken, sausages, and ribs. We scoop heaps of potato salad and macaroni salad, and maybe even an actual salad with quinoa or lettuce and other greens and vegetables. We drink beer, wine, and mixed drinks, bake cakes, and maybe chase an ice cream truck down the street if we can still somehow bear to move.

So sure, there’s celebrating freedom and patriotism. But let’s be real, the Fourth of July has also become synonymous with food. And not just food, but gluttony.

via Gifer

As an emotional/anxious/stress eater, the Fourth of July comes with some irony. On the day when we’re supposed to celebrate freedom, it’s a struggle for me not to feel held captive by the urge to completely engorge myself at any BBQ I go to. In theory, I’m free to choose not to eat all of those things, but in practice, the impulse to eat twice as much as I possibly can overtakes me.

This is nothing new for me, on the Fourth of July or any other holiday. For years I’ve struggled with maintaining my weight, my eating habits, and the self-control, or lack thereof when it comes to these things. It’s taken a toll on me emotionally, and as a result, I struggle greatly with my body image. Even when I’ve been at a comfortable weight/size/body distribution/fitness level for myself, a part of me has always felt trapped by that voice in the back of my head that criticizes my gut, my stretch marks, my lack of muscle definition in areas where I’d like to have muscle definition.

Now, I know that I’m not alone, which is comforting to some degree. Still, it doesn’t make me happy to know that other people are unhappy with themselves “just like me.” It just makes it suck slightly less… kind of, but not really.

Fact: Being unhappy with yourself sucks. Period.

via Gfycat

I wish I could say that I have a foolproof strategy, advice, or rational thought that works for me which I could turn around and share here. But in the moments when I eat uncontrollably, rational thought escapes me. There’s no, “limit yourself to one cupcake,” or, “pace yourself with those mozzarella sticks, there’s dessert later.” I just eat like I’ve never eaten any of the things I’m eating before and will never have the chance to eat them again.

via Gifrific

And believe me, I’ve heard a bunch of advice. It’s perfectly rational. I’ve tried to internalize it and put them into practice, and sometimes I can. Other times, here’s what happens:

Rationality: Just eat before you go to the party so you’re full when you get there and you won’t eat.
Reality: Nope! I still eat one of almost everything at the party, probably until I feel sick.

Rationality: Scope out the food at the party and pick 3-5 things you want the most, then only eat those things.
Reality: I don’t need 3-5 things to overeat. If there’s mac and cheese, or just about any kind of basic pasta dish with a red sauce and melted mozzarella draped over it, there’s a strong chance I’ll eat 5,000 calories worth of that one item itself at the party.

via Tenor

Rationality: Just ration yourself and limit your portions— take a small plate and only fill it once.
Reality: That’s cool and all, but my hands happen to be the size of small bowls and if the food doesn’t hit the plate at all then technically it doesn’t count, so…

Rationality: Well, maybe don’t go to the party if you can’t control your eating.
Reality: *lol* I’m going to the party, and I’m going to try not to, but I’m probably— aka definitely— going to overeat.

I don’t smoke, but from what I’ve heard about trying to quit, I sometimes imagine that my relationship with food and efforts to cut back are somewhat similar to the struggle someone who smokes has with trying to quit. Unfortunately, this is a day-to-day battle I fight with myself, yielding mixed results. Some days, I have self-control and can contain my urges with rational thought. Other days I have zero control despite the rational thoughts, and even then, sometimes, rational thought doesn’t even enter the equation.

The truth is that on holidays like the Fourth of July, I tend to end up more towards the latter. I eat uncontrollably, I feel nauseous. And then, of course, I beat myself up over it when I look in the mirror the next day, and there is no easy fix for that.

via Giphy

There are two things I can say here:

First, even if you’ve tried 100 strategies for curbing your emotional/anxious/stress/impulsive eating and none have stuck, keep trying. In 2012, I worked (very briefly) for a company doing door-to-door sales, and as much as I hated the job, one thing I learned there was a principle called the Law of Averages. Basically, the more doors you knock on, the more opportunities you’ll have to make a sale, and the more sales you’ll ultimately make. So, if you take that concept and apply it to controlling your eating habits and impulses, it’s simple— the more strategies you try, the more likely you’ll be to find that 101st one that does work and sticks with you.

And second, beating ourselves up over our bodies, more often than not, isn’t constructive. Taking on a more positive outlook and adapting body positivity is probably advisable. Being at the beginning of that journey myself, I know that this is easier said than done, and there are people other than myself who are better equipped to talk more about body positive strategies. In fact, I promise you, you’ll see more on this topic on “In Our Own Skin” in the near future.

So enjoy yourself today at whatever Fourth of July celebration you go to. And if you eat a cheeseburger and some cake, it’s not the end of the world. Just try your best not to overdo it, and even if you do go overboard, try to be kind to yourself about it tomorrow.

Your weight, body, and body image aren’t going to change instantly overnight; they’re a continuous work in progress. Yesterday’s struggles might bring today’s revelations that lead to tomorrow’s accomplishments. Don’t stop trying.

What are your 3 go-to BBQ foods?
Which 3 foods can you do without?
Share your comments at the bottom of the page.

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